Thursday 16 April 2015

Degree of authority

I could lay claim with more than a degree of authority that I am a selfish person. This has been brought about by the selfish attitudes of others. Time and again I have been to the toilet, only to find that the bog roll has been pilfered. Now, I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. However, I will not lower my standards to nicking the whole roll.

Well it happened again today. Called in at the supermarket for a shop and a dump. I like to get the essentials sorted first - so off to the toilet. Good, trap one is free, that's another one of my pet peeves when all the traps are in use. But it has the advantage of a pre-warmed seat.  So I get down to work - after finishing the job - its time to sort out the paper work. Reach for the bog roll and some one has nicked it again. You can always tell when its been nicked, the cardboard centre is missing. Trap two next door is empty - so I am saved the indignity of having to beg for a few sheets being passed under the partition.

However, I'm not a slow learner - so now whenever I go out. I have another item on my mental check list. Keys check, Money check, Wife check, Dog check, Bog roll check. Now, I go out prepared for eventualities. I always take a length of folded bog roll in my back pocket. However, I admit, it got me into trouble when I first started. Because once or twice it sneaked through the dirty washing security cordon. This is the feel in a pocket and finders keepers check. Which is systematically conducted on wash day by the maid of all things the Memsahib.

I blame Blue Peter for encouraging several generations into habitually nicking bogrolls. Only to make yet another cardboard version of the Thunderbirds lair, Tracy Island. Now that the Thunderbirds are back on television I anticipate the situation will only get worse.

You have been warned.

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